Wedding Invitation Etiquette

Weddings, by definition, are formal occasions. By following the proper etiquette, everyone has a clearer idea of what's going on, and what's expected of them to ensure your wedding goes smoothly. Some aspects of the etiquette are more important than others. The important parts are:

• Ensuring everyone has all the right bits of paper (at least an invitation, a gift list, maps & directions)
• That everyone gets their invitations at the right time.

When should wedding invitations be sent?

Invitations are normally sent out six to eight weeks before the wedding. Any later, and you risk guests making other plans, any earlier and you risk slipping from your guests' memory before the big day! If time is tight, it is normally a good idea to prioritize guests coming from further away, as their travel plans will inevitably be more complex.

It is normally a good idea to send out a save the date card when you have confirmed the date with the venue, particularly if your wedding falls at a traditionally busy time, such as during the summer holiday period.

The Guest List

One of the big stresses of weddings is trying to pare down your guest list to a number that can be accommodated by the venue. Removing guests from your list is painful, but most friends will understand. Family though, are less likely to understand.

Weddings are tremendously happy occasions, and a wedding invitation itself can help spread a little of that happiness. If you think your aunt in the Galapagos islands won't be able to attend because of her travel difficulties, you should still send her an invitation.

You can count on anywhere between 5% and 20% not being able to attend, so you may be able to get away with inviting 5% more people than will fit into the venue. Last minute cancellations are also commonplace, as children get ill, flights are canceled, and any number of unforeseen events prevent your guests from being able to come to your wedding. There are obvious and stressful pitfalls to over-inviting; it may just happen that everyone turns up!

The Gift List

Your wedding gift list should also be sent with the invitation. It is very difficult to think of 100 presents you want, particularly if you have already set up home together, and you might be tempted not to. Yet, surprisingly, it is seldom accepted to say 'we don't want any gifts, just your company'. People want to buy you a present.

Wedding gifts should span a wide range of prices, with £20 to £60 being the most common price range that gifts should fall in to.

If you really lack nothing, it is acceptable to put charitable donations as items on your wedding list, such as sponsoring a third world community, wildlife, or anything else that is dear to you both.